Celebrating Marriage in St. Philip Parish

Weddings are special and joyful times for brides and grooms, for their families and friends, and for the parish community. The Church welcomes its members to celebrate God's active love in their lives and to solemnize their weddings in the context of our prayer as Christians. Marriage is a sacrament. More precisely, the husband and wife are a sacrament. Each spouse is an on-going sign to the other of Christ's love and grace; and together they are a sign of Christ's relationship to His Church.

In this spirit, St. Philip Parish provides the following guidelines for celebrating weddings in the place where our parish community gathers for prayer.

The Liturgy of Marriage

The Church takes great care to insure that the prayer for this special moment is reverent, graceful, beautiful and open to the movement of God's Spirit among us. All ceremonies are celebrated as a community and should reflect our christian faith and worship. The celebrations of the sacraments are rooted in Scripture so that we may be nourished and strengthened by God's Word. These celebrations are incomplete unless they are filled with prayer in song, in gestures, and with the silence in which we hear and respond to the voice of God in our lives.

Structure of Catholic Marriage Liturgy

When both the bride and groom are Catholic, the appropriate context to exchange marriage vows is within the Mass. The Wedding Mass consists of five main sections:

  1. The Entrance Rite
  2. The Liturgy of the Word
  3. The Rite of Marriage
  4. The Concluding Rite

There are instances when marriage vows are exchanged outside of Mass. When Marriage is celebrated outside of Mass, the ceremony consists of four main sections:

  1. The Entrance Rite
  2. The Liturgy of the Word
  3. The Rite of Marriage
  4. The concluding Rite

The ENTRANCE RITE ... The Rite of Marriage envisions a very different entrance procession than the one to which most of us are accustomed. At best, a liturgical procession includes the major participants of this liturgy. (The concept of "liturgical procession" will be discussed more fully at the Wedding Workshop.) The procession ends when all take their appropriate places.

LITURGY of the WORD.. Only readings from the Scriptures may be used during this sacred worship. The Lector should be capable and motivated by faith, and adequately prepared for the role. The Liturgy of the Word consists of the following elements:

The RITE of MARRIAGE...The Groom and the Bride must assume their position as ministers of the sacrament. They must be clearly seen and heard. The Rite of Marriage consists of the following elements:

At this point, there is the choice to continue and conclude the sacramental celebration with Mass or without Mass.

When the Wedding is Celebrated at Mass
(after the General Intercessions the Mass continues as follows)
When the Wedding is NOT Celebrated at Mass

MUSIC...Music is integral to liturgy. Words which are sung express faith more powerfully, bring a sense of unity to the assembly, and impart a quality of joy and thanksgiving. A wedding is first of all a time of prayer, and music expresses and deepens the praise and worship of God. Therefore, the music and texts must be appropriate for the liturgical action. The Director of Music can assist each couple in making good choices which

In most circumstances, the Director of Music is the primary resource for the planning and performance of the music for a wedding. It is advisable to contact her three to six months in advance of your wedding to confirm availability. Once confirmed, a meeting may take place after you attend the Wedding Workshop. The Music Director is also the contact for other vocal and instrumental soloists who provide music for our parish. Our Director of Music, Wanza Grantier, can be reached at 963-2584 or by sending an email.

WEDDING WORKSHOP

A required workshop, provided by the St. Philip Office of Liturgy, will further develop the guidelines of this booklet, and will offer suggestions and assistance in the planning process for your liturgical celebration. It lays the groundwork for each couple's planning meetings with the Director of Music and with the Wedding Coordinator. The workshops take place quarterly. Please check with the office 968-6645 to obtain dates and times and to register. If you are living out-of-town and cannot attend a workshop, you may have someone attend for you (a parent, relative or friend) who can get the necessary information to you.

 

WEDDING COORDINATOR

The task of the Parish Wedding Coordinator is to handle details of your wedding event; keeping you organized keeping us organized, and reducing the stress of a myriad of tasks (e.g. paperwork, scheduling, room arrangements, opening buildings.) The wedding coordinator will conduct the wedding workshops, meet with the couple at least six weeks before the wedding to prepare a Wedding Plan, conduct the rehearsal, and will be present the day of your wedding (before, during and after your wedding) to ensure that everything runs smoothly and is as stress free as possible for you. To further assure a coordinated sacramental celebration, the details are cross-referenced for the Presider, the musician(s), the bride and groom, and any other necessary individuals. You may set up a meeting with Parish Wedding Coordinator, Sherril Keese, at the Wedding Workshop or anytime after the workshop at 979-1712.

PLANNING THE WEDDING

Members of our parish may celebrate their weddings at St. Philip Church. Former members of the parish need to speak both to their present pastor and to a priest at St. Philip Parish if they wish to solemnize their marriage in this church. Couples are expected to contact the parish office well in advance of the date on which they hope to celebrate their wedding. Six months is the minimum requirement. However, individual circumstances, marriage instruction, paperwork, and/or availability of the church building and parish ministers may require more time than the minimum six months.

Our Saturday wedding hours are 11:00AM and 2:00PM. To allow for sufficient time for the 4:30PM Mass on Saturday, the church parking lot needs to be cleared out by 4:00PM. Weddings are not scheduled on Sundays. By way of exception, weddings may be celebrated on a Friday evening or another week night.

NOTE: There are some times in the church year when the liturgical calendar discourages or prohibits the celebration of weddings. For example, the season of Lent is a time of penance in the church community and that spirit affects all parish liturgies between Ash Wednesday and Easter.

TIMELINE FOR WEDDING PLANNING

STIPENDS and FEES

We ask a church fee of $150.00 to cover our expenses. (If this is a hardship, we will work with you to reach a fair solution.) The fees for the organist/pianist, cantor, soloist(s) or instrumentalist(s) will be discussed when you meet with the Director of Music and the Wedding Coordinator when preparing your Wedding Plan. A gift for the Presider is left to the discretion of the couple. All stipends and fees will be collected at the wedding rehearsal.

The WEDDING REHEARSAL

The rehearsal will be conducted by the Parish Wedding Coordinator. The usual time for the rehearsal is the evening before the wedding between 5:00 and 7:00 p.m. It is not the time to discuss and make decisions but to practice. Materials to help you make all of those pertinent decisions in advance will be given out at the Wedding Workshop.

The following format is suggested for the rehearsal:

Bring to the rehearsal: marriage license; all stipulated fees and stipends.

MINISTERS for the CELEBRATION

BRIDE and GROOM... In the Roman Catholic tradition, the Bride and Groom minister the sacrament of marriage to one another; a Priest and at least two witnesses must also be present.

ASSEMBLY... It consists of the friends, and especially the family, who have shared the faith and nurtured its development. They are the people who continue to support and celebrate this covenant. The entire assembly exercises a ministry of prayer, especially in the moments that require a response to God's word or action (such as the psalm, the Gospel acclamation and The Lords' Prayer.

WEDDING ATTENDANTS... They act as witnesses to the sacred covenant and are accorded special dignity as they accompany the couple in this celebration, but they should never distract from the central focus or the liturgical action.

PRIEST... Ordinarily, one of the parish priests will preside. Another ordained relative or friend may be invited to preside with the permission of the Pastor. By mutual agreement, Pastors of other denominations may take a part in the marriage rite.

MUSIC MINISTER... Because music is integral to the celebration of liturgy, it is most important to engage the services of a musician with professional and liturgical background. St. Philip's Director of Music is the primary resource for the planning and performance of the music for a wedding in this parish. It is advisable to contact the Director once the date of the wedding has been established with the parish office. Generally, the Director is also the contact for other vocal and instrumental soloists who provide music in our parish. The parish does, however, permit other musicians to provide the music. Most professional musicians with a church background are familiar with music that enhances a truly Christian celebration. Any questions that arise should be referred to the Director of Music by calling 963-2584 or sending an email.

LECTORS... Those who serve as parish Lectors may serve at a wedding. A couple also may invite family members or friends who are of our own faith communion to serve as Lectors. But in all cases, they should possess necessary skills for proclaiming God's Word effectively and reverently. They must attend the wedding rehearsal so that they may practice in the church using the sound system.

EXTRAORDINARY MINISTERS of HOLY COMMUNION... The service of Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion for the bread and for the cup may be necessary if the wedding is celebrated during Mass. Friends or family members of the bride and groom who are commissioned Extraordinary Ministers in their home parishes may be invited to serve at a wedding here. They should attend the wedding rehearsal so that they are familiar with the worship space. Those who serve as Extraordinary Ministers for this parish may be asked if there are no friends or family members available.

SERVERS... Altar Servers from the parish may fill this role if the couple wishes. Again, friends or family may assume this role provided they attend the wedding rehearsal. (The Server's role at a wedding Mass is not essential and is rarely used.)

HOSPITALITY MINISTERS... The groom's attendants usually function as ushers and thus fulfill part of the Ministry of Hospitality. It is a mature and gracious gesture for all members of the wedding party and family to act in this capacity. Sometimes extra ushers are enlisted as well.

RING BEARERS and FLOWER GIRLS...They are not ministers, nor are their services required for the celebration of marriage. We ask couples who invite children for these roles to consider carefully the age of the children involved and whether their presence will add or detract form the joyful solemnity of the celebration. In planning your wedding, try to remember that young children may easily distract from its sacred purpose. If you do decide to have a very young ring bearer or flower girl in your wedding, an adult must be in the narthex (vestibule) during the procession in the event that they refuse to process down the aisle.

 

ENVIRONMENT of the WORSHIP SPACE

Because of the relationship of the sacred covenant and sacred space, in the Diocese of Kalamazoo, a Catholic marriage must be celebrated in a church or chapel.

LITURGICAL DÈCOR... Liturgical seasons determine the church dècor. (See a description in your initial wedding packet of what kinds of dècor may be expected during the various seasons.) These adornments will not be changed for a wedding. Nor should wedding dècor detract from the liturgical nature of the event.

CANDLES... The purpose of candles is to highlight the places of liturgical action, to enhance the beauty of the church, and to aid the spirit of the assembly's prayer. The church has two different sets of tall candelabras available for weddings. Candles on pews (if used at all) must by globed and securely fastened with protected clamps so as not to scratch the pews.

FLOWERS... Floral arrangements may be used to enhance the sacred setting as long as they do not diminish or interfere with the proper focus of the sacred action.( See - Floral Environment for Weddings in wedding packet.) Elaborate usage of flowers is discouraged. Plants or flowers from special liturgical feasts (e.g., lilies at Easter time, or poinsettias during Christmas season) may already be in the church. We welcome any such arrangements you wish to leave in the church after the wedding. We also respect your plans to take them to your reception. We ask that any petals dropped by flower girls be silk, as the oils from real flower petals can be ground into the carpet.

AISLE CLOTH (Runner)... The center aisle of the church is carpeted, so runners are not only unnecessary, but often detrimental to both photographic quality and the safety of your attendants. An aisle cloth cannot be used at St. Philip Church.

RICE, BIRDSEED, CONFETTI, FLOWER PETALS, BALLOONS, etc... These are not related to any Christian custom. To avoid any safety hazard, and to minimize custodial work, these items are not permitted. Please inform family and friends.

OTHER CONSIDERATIONS

TRADITIONS... Many traditions have accrued to weddings through the years. It is important that the couple and their guests understand the historical roots of those traditions before including them in their ceremony.

UNITY CANDLE... Some couples choose to use the symbol of the lighting of the unity candle during their wedding ceremony. It is not part of the liturgical tradition. The couple by exchange of their vows, and the blessing and exchange of their rings, stand as a symbol of unity between Christ and His Church. A more appropriate use of the unity candle may be at the wedding reception. Further ideas and suggestions will be addressed in the wedding workshop.

MARIAN ALTAR VISIT... If a couple wishes to observe the pious custom of seeking the intercession of Our Lady, it normally occurs after the General Intercessions. The couple usually takes a flower to Our Lady's altar and spends a few moments in prayer there.

PROFESSIONAL SERVICES

The parish expects the people whom you hire for services at the wedding ceremony (and even those who are members of the wedding party) to respect our worship place and this event as HOLY. This includes behavior appropriate in a church: proper attire; no gum chewing, smoking, or use of alcohol on the premises before, during, or after the ceremony.

FLORIST... Please check with the Wedding Coordinator regarding the time and place of your flower delivery because other scheduled activities may require special arrangements. Decorating may take place the hour before the wedding. PHOTOGRAPHER... Please remember that the wedding liturgy is a sacred and communal prayer. Thus, persons taking pictures should always be inconspicuous and discreet, and never be a distraction to the assembly, the Presider, or the wedding party. If the people taking pictures have never been inside St. Philip Church, they may attend the wedding rehearsal to help get a sense of the lighting, where the participants will be sitting/standing, and to ask the Wedding Coordinator any questions.

ANY QUESTIONS PLEASE CALL THE PARISH OFFICE 269-968-6645

OR

SHERRIL KEESE, WEDDING COORDINATOR 269-979-1712